adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
