Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Drake has all the answers
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
