it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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