i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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