Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize