I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
