We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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