hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
