I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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