You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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