why didn't you poke me back
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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