Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
