You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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