I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
