you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I am one with the molecules
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
