Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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