I heard we made out
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
