Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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