Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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