So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
