we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
