can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
