...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize