loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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