i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
