Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
