She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
