We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
