For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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