so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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