the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
