im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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