Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
