You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I know her cup size but not her name....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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