I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
