Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
