oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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