you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize