i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
