WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
