When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
