i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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