If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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