ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
