Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
People in love make me want to vomit
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
