did you get engaged???
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
