You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
