Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize