Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
