im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
