Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize