Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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