first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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