I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
