Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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