is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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