so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
