i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
