Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize