he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
