Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
