On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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