When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
